January 4th 2016

No fair play; no justice; we don’t live in a meritocracy! There it is!

Over the Christmas period I received my income from Coillte and the accompanying Pay-Advice slip. For those who are not familiar with Coillte let me explain that ‘Coillte’ is the Irish word for forests. Coillte was established under the Forestry Act 1988 and commenced trading in 1989 when it was handed ownership of the State's forests. 

Coillte is a private limited company registered under and subject to the Companies Acts 1963-86. All of the shares in the company are held by the Minister for Agriculture, Food and the Marine and the Minister for Public Expenditure and Reform on behalf of the Irish State. The entire Board of Directors are appointed by the Minister for Agriculture, Food and the Marine. In other words the hue of the directors is ‘green’ or ‘blue’ depending on what politics are in power at any given time. It owns over 445,000 hectares or 1,100,000 acres of land, about 7% of the land cover of Ireland. This land is ostensibly held in ‘trust’ for the plain people of Ireland.

Every year Coillte forests are visited by almost 20million people. There are 12 forest parks and 150 of what they call ‘recreation sites’ all over the Republic. Coillte owns the longest trail network in Ireland and activities vary from canoeing to walking and hiking, mountain biking and fishing, nature watching and just having a picnic. As Caretaker of Newcastle Forest I could list a few other commonplace activities which won’t appear in any Coillte catalogue or information website.

As my Dad used to say “you never miss the water till the well runs dry”. Isn’t it ironic that since the news of the major Center Parcs plans becoming public people that have never visited the forest are now bemoaning the imminent loss of over half of it to the holiday industry. There are numerous objections lodged with the Local Authority against the proposed project. The calibre and logic of all of these objections are jocose at best. The Prodigal, Patience and the Chinaman have long been devotees of the attractions of the forest. I would estimate that I spend at least 20 hours a week in that sacred place and never has it become commonplace or predictable.

I have such respect for that wondrous cross section of nature that I have decreed in my will (the compilation of which cost more than the non-contents specified) that my inglorious ashes be spread in the forest, in the air, tossed to permit the breeze to carry my remains to wherever it will. Don’t be surprised if I take root and enjoy reincarnation, preferably as a mink, so that I can see things from another perspective. In addition I will have no enemies, cannot be eaten, and spread apprehension far and wide. Won’t that make a wondrous change for the Prodigal?

But to get back to the serious inequity I have encountered . I read an article in the Irish Times from 2015 which detailed the legal battle between former CEO of Coillte, Mr. David Gunning of Fitzwilliam Place (serious address) where the bottom line in guide price is €2million. But I digress. Mr. Gunning sued the Minister for Agriculture for non-payment of bonuses to him which he claimed were outstanding for a couple of years before he retired. His own staff in Coillte had paid him some of his bonus package against the directive of the Minister. In the High Court the nice man with the curls decreed that the former CEO was entitled to his little bonuses with interest plus all legal costs. The bonuses alone amounted to €300,000. Nice one except that the taxpayer was once again levied with the bill.

It emerged during the court case that Mr. Gunning’s salary amounted to another €300,000 plus expenses. His pension wasn’t disclosed but based on earnings it would have to be serious. So we have a situation where this man was worth somewhere in excess of 10,000 per week in income on an ongoing basis. What had he to do for this? Chair meetings. If a public pronouncement had to be made the PR Company compiled the statement. Similarly should a legal comment be required from him it was prepared by Arthur Cox & Co. All work that he might have had to do was spoon-fed to him. His duties were never specified.

The Prodigal, on the other hand, has very specific duties which are outlined very specifically in the terms of my Memorandum of Agreement as duly signed in 2012. An MOA serves as a legal document and describes the terms and details of the partnership agreement. An MOA is more formal than a verbal agreement, but less formal than a contract. At any rate this agreement has legal effect as a legal document. This document contains the following list of my specified duties.

Caretaker’s responsibilities include recording and reporting on security issues which they become aware of locally, particularly;

1.      Fires in or near Coillte lands.

2.    Cases of theft or attempted theft, vandalism, damage or suspicious happenings.

3.    General security related issues observed.

4.    Incidents of unauthorised use of the forest and where possible, the identity of suspected offenders.

5.     Cases of dumping in the forest and the identity of suspected offenders.

6.    Cases of trespass, boundary incursions and the identity of suspected offenders.

7.     Other duties as specified from time to time by Forest Manager.

 

Now, I ask you; what does the Prodigal get paid for this massive workload?

Above is a pay slip in respect of my 20hours plus working for Coillte every week. A net income of €229.50 for my efforts. Per week? God no!

This income is per annum. The weekly income for staff member number 800229y amounts to €4.41 per week which is a little short of the €10,000 per week earned by the former CEO.

As I stated; no fair play; no justice; we don’t live in a meritocracy!